You Drink Too Much Coffee If…
We all know about these kinds of lists. You do or have too much of something if… I was looking for jokes about coffee when I ran across a site about coffee humor and I really liked the list presented on the home page. I have picked a few to share with you, courtesy of Robin’s FYI.
• The only kitchen appliances you own are made by Mr. Coffee.
• You get a tax cut for all the coffee you bought.
• You get a speeding ticket even when you’re parked.
• You speed walk in your sleep.
• You have a bumper sticker that says: “Coffee drinkers are good in the sack.”
• You haven’t blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
• You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
• The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
• You sleep with your eyes open.
• When you open your dish cabinet, and there is only mugs.
• You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
• The only time you’re standing still is during an earthquake.
• Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
• Your coffee cake, must have coffee in it.
• You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
• You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.
LOL…there are lots more in the site I mentioned above, just click on the link to have more laughs. And here’s my favorite:
You introduce your spouse as your coffeemate.
Jura Capresso S9 One Touch
A couple of weeks ago, I received an e-mail from a friend who works with Nestle and she was selling a new espresso machine for a couple hundred dollars. I was about ready to take her up on her offer but I realized that I didn’t have enough money. More so, I have been looking around for other kinds of espresso machines and I have found a couple that are in the more affordable range.
In my quest to look for a workable solution, I ran across a new espresso machine that I would really love to have. Dubbed the Jura Capresso S9 One Touch, this baby is fully automatic. I am not sure but it seems that it is not widely available yet but this site, 1stincoffee, is already offering units. This is the full description of the machine:
The Jura Capresso Impressa S9 One Touch brews from 1 to 16 ounces at a time using just the right amount of fresh ground coffee. The machine features a large 96 oz. removable water tank, 2 stainless steel-lined Thermoblock heating systems and an insulated milk container. Jura Capresso is the 1st and only company to offer One Touch coffee centers with insulated milk containers to keep cold milk cold.
All coffee, milk frothing and hot water functions are fully programmable. You can set the temperature, coffee volume and coffee strength for each button. The Jura Capresso S9 includes an integrated conical burr grinder and a separate coffee shoot for ground coffee. The S9 One Touch also dispenses hot water for tea or Cafe Americano. Other features include: large cup warming area, Clearyl water filtration, Automatic cleaning and rinsing functions, LED Dialog system, electronic sensors and a powerful 18 bar pump.
Now I would really love to get my hands on the S9 One Touch. Unfortunately, it is way too pricey for me at the moment. How much is it selling for? A hefty $2399. Donations, anyone? 
Another Police Officer In Coffee Scandal
What is it with coffee and police officers? If you remember, I wrote a post on Officer Garvin from Daytona some time ago. Apparently, he used his authority to get up to 6 cups of coffee everyday at a local Starbucks store. This time, the story is set in Chicago, where a policewoman has been suspended due to similar reasons.
The Sun Times reports:
Nevers, 55, was suspended for 15 months and ordered into counseling for allegedly using her gun and badge to demand free coffee and pastries from six Starbucks stores on the North Side between 2001 and 2004. Employees told the Chicago Police Board that Starbucks had an unofficial policy of giving a free tall cup of drip coffee to cops and firefighters in uniform.
But Nevers — a desk officer for most of her 14-year career because of a neck injury she suffered in the police academy — would usually come into Starbucks in plain clothes.
She regularly flashed her gun, and sometimes her badge, to get free coffee at Starbucks near her home, including stores at 3358 N. Broadway, 2525 1/2 N. Clark, 617 W. Diversey, 1000 W. Diversey, 1700 W. Diversey and 1157 W. Wrightwood, employees said.
I don’t know what is going on but it seems that there are more incidents like these lately. Is it just because they are now “coming out in the open” or it is just now that they are happening?
Have you got any cop-coffee stories to share?
What Is Peaberry?
If you are stumped right now and you cannot give an answer off the top of your head, then do not worry. I was feeling the same way when I first heard of peaberry. I knew it has something to do with coffee but other than that, I really didn’t have a solid idea of what it is.
I first heard of this from a friend (who I think was just pretending that he knew all about peaberry but in reality didn’t really know much, lol). He was not able to give me a definite answer as to what peaberry really is so I just went online to check for myself.
Wikipedia came through, as usual:
Peaberry, also known as caracoli, is a type of coffee bean. Normally the fruit of the coffee plant develops as two halves of a bean within a single cherry, but sometimes only one of the two seeds gets fertilised so there is nothing to flatten it. This oval (or pea-shaped) bean is known as Peaberry. Typically around 5% of all coffee beans harvested are of this form.
I found another more detailed description at CoffeeReview:
Throughout the world, the coffee fruit occasionally produces a single, rather than a double, bean. It grows to be small and round, with a tiny crevice that splits it halfway down the middle. Called peaberry in English and caracol in Spanish, these beans are often separated from normal-shaped beans and sold as a separate grade of the same coffee.
According to coffee folklore, peaberry grades are considered superior to normal grades from the same crop, apparently on the basis that, in peaberries, the good stuff that ordinarily goes into a double bean goes into only one bean. I am not sure peaberry tastes better than normal beans from the same crop, but it does taste different. Typically, peaberry is more buoyant and more brightly acidy, more complex in the upper aromatic ranges of the profile but somewhat lighter in body, than comparable normally shaped beans.
So there, we now know what peaberry is although I do not know if I have ever had coffee from this kind of bean. Have you? If so, how does the taste differ from “normal” coffee?
Coffee Culture Does Not Impress Aussies
If you thought that Starbucks was having problems in the United States market only, think again. Apparently, they are having even more serious problems down under. To date, the coffee chain giant has 84 stores in Australia. Of the 84, they are closing 61. The figures may seem minuscule as compared to the 600 stores they are closing in the United States BUT if you take into consideration just how many stores they have in the US (about 12,000), you will see that the percentage of closures is so much higher in Australia.
So what is the problem here? How come Starbucks has not conquered Australia? According to Chris Berg of The Age, it is because of the simple fact that Starbucks is selling the coffee culture and NOT the coffee itself. He writes:
So why has Starbucks worked in the US but largely failed in Australia? The secret of the company’s success in the American market wasn’t that it sold coffee. It sold coffee culture.
But when Starbucks came to Australia to bring coffee and the cafe culture to the masses, it found that we already had it. Particularly in Melbourne, we have better coffee and more relaxing cafes than anything that Starbucks brought with it.
Undeterred, the firm simply dumped what seemed to work in America into this country. When Starbucks opened an outlet in Lygon Street — a store that has since sat empty surrounded by bustling cafes — it became an amazing example of just how comprehensively a company could fail to understand its target market.
I find this perspective to be very interesting as it seems to hold some truth in it. Indeed, more than the coffee itself, Starbucks is associated with hanging out at a cool place. It is associated with meeting with friends over a cup of coffee. The article reminds me of some people I know who NEVER drank coffee until the Starbucks culture became popular.
What do you think, is there truth to Berg’s perspective?
Calorie Counters In Coffee Shops?
Weight conscious coffee shop goes just may have their wishes come true. Well, at least those who reside in Multnomah County. Commissioners of the county are soon to vote on whether or not restaurants and coffee shops in the area will be required to post health facts – including caloric counts – on their menus. If approved, this law will require ALL items on the menu to have the information mentioned above. Drinks will not be exempt, by the way.
Not every mom and pop food place will be affected by the law, if approved, though. The only establishments that would be required are those which have 15 branches or more across the country.
So what will this law do? Basically, I see it as a public information campaign. More often than not, we order food and drink without a thought as to the calories contained in them. With the calories prominently displayed, people will at least know their consumption.
Do you think that this would make a difference as to how and what people order at restaurants and coffee shops? I honestly do not know. Personally, it might change my mind if I see the huge difference between one coffee blend and another. Then again, if I really want a certain drink, I doubt that my mind would change because of the calorie count. But then again, that’s just me – a person who likes her coffee more than her waistline.
How about you? Do you think this kind of practice would change your mind?
Photo courtesy of banoota
Russian Coffee Cakes
The other day I went to visit a friend and naturally, we had coffee together. She makes a mean brew, let me tell you. She also served Russian coffee cake, which I think was absolutely scrumptious. Naturally, I wanted to try to make it. Unfortunately, it was just a gift and she didn’t know how to make the cake. So I went online to find recipes. I found one at Recipe Zaar. Let me share it with you and let’s see if we can bake a decent cake.
Ingredients
• 2 (1/4 ounce) packages active dry yeast
• 1/2 cup warm water
• 1/2 cup warm milk, scalded then cooled
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 2 eggs
• 1/2 cup shortening
• 4 1/2-5 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/2 cup raisins
• 1/4 cup blanched almond, chopped
• 1/2 teaspoon vanillaIcing
• 1/2 cup confectioners’ sugar
• 1 1/2 teaspoons warm water
• 1/2 teaspoon lemon zest
• 1/2 teaspoon lemon juiceDirections
Dissolve the yeast in the water. Stir in the next four ingredients, 2 1/2 cups of the flour, the almonds, raisins and vanilla. Beat until smooth then add in enough of the remaining flour to make dough easy to handle.Turn dough onto a floured board or counter and knead for about 5 minutes until smooth and elastic.
Place the dough into a greased bowl, turn to coat. Cover with a clean towel and let rise in a warm place until doubled in size, about 2 hours.
Punch down dough and let rise again until almost doubled, about 40 minutes.
Divide dough in half and roll each half into a well rounded bun shape. Place each bun in a well greased
1 lb coffee can. Cover and let rise until the dough starts to puff up over the top of the cans, about 45 minutes.Bake at 375 degrees on a low rack in the center of the oven for 45 minutes or until brown. Let cool slightly then remove from cans.
Mix together all of the icing ingredients and pour over the cakes letting some run down the sides.
I love how you use coffee cans instead of the conventional baking pans. It makes the recipe more “coffee-ish” don’t you think?
Photo courtesy of eekim
Which Espresso Machine is Right for You?
Looking for the perfect shot of coffee? Maybe you want a more robust flavor in your cappucinos and lattes. When it comes to taste and aroma, espresso machines deliver the most bang for your buck.
When you brew a shot of espresso, you get more of the coffee beans’ aroma into the cup. How is this possible? It begins with the beans. Espresso beans are finely ground until they are the right texture for the chosen type of machine. Water is heated in another chamber within the machine. When the water is hot enough, it is passed through the finely ground beans. This captures the strong flavor and fragrance that have made espresso such a popular coffee drink.
What to Look For
The best espresso coffee machines are often the simplest. Stove-top espresso pots for the home have surged in popularity. There are even simple espresso pots that can be taken on camping trips.
When shopping for a new machine, always look for a model made of stainless steel so that rust is never an issue. Some pots come with cool-touch handles to keep users from burning themselves. There are even espresso pots decorated with famous works of art. The buyer’s choices are limitless.
On the other hand, you might need the brewing power of a commercial espresso machine. These machines let the user control every aspect of the how the espresso is brewed. With the push of a button, the user can dictate water volume, brew time, and even how much crema to include in each shot.
The Best Pump Style for Your Needs
Brewing the perfect shot takes skill and practice. Pump style refers to the way the water is delivered through the ground beans. Manual pumps require lots of experimentation on the user’s part, as the user is responsible for determining water volume and brewing time. They are a great way for experienced baristas to show off their talent, but can be intimidating to the new user.
For a mix of affordability and ease of use, many people choose semi automatic espresso machines. These require some judgment from the user, but carry out the actual brewing process by themselves. The user simply turns on the electric brewing pump when they are ready to brew, and turn it off after they have finished.
Semi-commercial machines offer more automated pump styles that leave most of the decision making to the device itself. Whatever your needs, there is a pump style perfectly suited to every user.
As more coffee drinkers are awakening to the intense flavor of espresso, they are looking for home-brewing solutions that are affordable and easy to use. Coffee sellers are looking for machines that produce the perfect volume and flavor to meet their customers’ demands. Take a look at the many available models and pump styles to find the perfect espresso machine for your needs.
In The Interest Of Preserving The Integrity Of Coffee
Now if that isn’t one of the most pompous drivel that I have read for a long time (well, probably since yesterday). This is exactly what was going through my mind as I read about Jeff Simmermon’s experience at the Murky Coffee store in Arlington, VA. So what happened?
Simmermon reportedly ordered a triple shot of espresso dumped over ice. Now you probably know that this is not commonly done but hey, who said you had to drink coffee in a certain way? Well, the management of Murky Coffee says so. Read the barista’s reaction as Simmermon himself described it:
And the guy at the counter looked me in the eye with a straight face and said “I’m sorry, we can’t serve iced espresso here. It’s against our policy.”
This reminded so much of a similar incident that my husband and I experienced at a local Starbucks store. The coffee became lukewarm because we were chatting and smoking. So he went back to the counter to ask for it to be reheated. We know that purists disallow reheating coffee as the heat “ruins” it. Despite my husband’s repeated requests, they wouldn’t heat the coffee!
So what is the deal here? Preserving the integrity of coffee or giving in to a customer’s request? Probably because I am not a purist, I tend to lean towards the latter. We all enjoy our coffee in different ways, give us some leeway here!
Photo courtesy of Aaron Landry
This Police Officer Loves His Coffee
I didn’t think that this kind of thing still happened in the United States. Apparently, a Daytona Lt. Major Garvin has been loading up on free coffee from a local Starbucks store for the past two years. Now, there is nothing wrong here if the management offered to provide free coffee for the police officer, right?
The thing is, the story is not quite like that. Recently, the store changed management and Lt. Garvin was denied his usual free coffee. You want to know what his reaction was?
“If something happens, either we can respond really fast or we could respond really slow. I’ve been coming here for years and I’ve been getting whatever I want. I’m the difference between you getting a two-minute response time, if you needed a little help, or a 15 minutes response time.”
Oooh…talk about police bullying! Unfortunately for Lt. Garvin, the people at that Starbucks store were not sissies. A complaint was filed, the police officer took a polygraph test (he denied the accusations and agreed to the test and then failed), and was fired.
I was just thinking, this police officer really loves his coffee doesn’t he? I think he loves getting freebies even more, though. Maybe this is why Starbucks is losing money? Lt. Garvin is only one person but what if there is one Lt. Garvin in every other town in the United States? No wonder Starbucks is having to close a lot of its branches.
Seriously, though. This kind of guy makes it look bad for other hardworking honest police officers out there.
